Rules Don't Stop Me

My my what a year has this been

the brackets are afterthoughts after writing this :D

Exactly one year ago today, someone and something changed my life.I could still feel how i felt how that day was for me
"i cant believe im growing up"
"im invincible"
" IM AWESOME ! "
Thinking about it today, i feel like rolling on the floor !

it was a first date :D

on the day, before i went out, i was listening to fireflies by owl city.for some reason, the general happy tone of the song really reinforced my belief that today last year was going to be a good day.




How Wrong Was That ! haha

Put it down to just being too blind to read signs.i probably couldn't tell between a pencil and a plane for my life in this message decoding thing. to be honest (it was nothing at all pun)
i was still new at this love thing to be honest
Was it just a fixation,crush, puppy love or something ?
If we had Relationships and Dating 101 in school, i bet i would have known the difference and (with effort and studying like hell) I could have scored at least 98% for that paper. HAHA

Anyway,i couldn't really put my tongue on why i did have this crush on her
She was and still is now an excellent conversationalist
It was fun just talking about random stuff all day
It felt like having someone that i could talk too ( very important)
Without any sort of judgment i guess
the connection was there

Maybe that was why

Anyway, to tell you about how the date went, would be like to tell you whether or not that dude really sodomized that other unfortunate dude so lets not talk about that. HAHA.
put it this way i finally understand why Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman sang that song 'and then i go an spoil it all like saying something stupid like i love you ! '. Dont do it !!!! especially on the first date !!!!! ( best mistake of my life :D ) hahaha

That was the first and the last time we went out.i realized the mistake (and basically thought of a million and one solutions to the problem but to no avail) i made and shortly after...

It became hell. i screwed up i guess.For some reason, my confidence, self belief, and RM 100 (or was it RM 50 i forgot how much money i spent on the date.HAHAHA) were gone.Coming from a guy which lived in hell (boarding school) for 2 years, this was an achievement somewhat. Sleeping at 3 am could not compare to this sort of feeling. I mean you felt like shit sleeping at 3 am, but with this you felt like shit and you lost rm 100 which = more shit.

I went into a state of mental delusion
What is this ? What does this all mean ? blah blah blah
I felt like going crazy really, you just lose everything in yourself so you have no direction in your life anymore.
Generally, from TV and movies, when this happens a person would
a)retreat in his shell
b)develop a Bush like hatred for women everywhere

They basically run off from the world, feeling that they might be scarred again by people

But for some reason, i did the opposite thing
i ran to the world
for some reason i had a sudden urge to run. so i went jogging pretty much most of the time to forget this. little did i know, it actually made it worse.you couldnt stop running without the thought of how you failed in your head.it eventually came to the point where the pain and fatigue was unbearable. my train of thought was along the lines of

'why should i complain about this, they're more unfortunate people out there that have worse problems than i do'
at this point, i remembered this talk we had in school about cancer patients and their lives.

enter MAKNA, the Malaysian Cancer Society,
ironically when i was there i found my makna (meaning) as well. once you see the people there, you begin to realize how lucky you really are and how thankful you should be. these people have no chance of moving forward in life, while you do.Therefore, dont waste your life thinking about stupid stuff and do something amazing. at least, these people would not be in vain.

realizing this, i tried to get out of my comfort zone and volunteer for petrosains. Petrosains was a scary thought for me, while we were there, we had to deal with everyone from customers to management who are all not exactly the carebear type.
nevertheless, i came, i saw, i made lots of new friends.it was what i needed, interaction with lots of people and lots of things to do.

as an added plan, i made a promise to myself that i would finish reading Dale Carnegie's How to Make Friends and Influence People so that i would never again make the same mistakes again (never did really ! haha)
Personally i did feel somewhat crazy and insane reading the book
" who reads self help ? only psychos and serial killers do"
till i found it actually did help me in a way. for some reason, i feel more at ease with people. it was a lot easier to have a conversation and explain things to people.

Then, I went to Taylors
keep it short and simple. met lots of good friends.applied what i learned in the 5 months while i was free. learned an uncountable number of things for the past 6 months. it helped in a lot of things. A LOT

IN THE END,

looking now a year ahead, it was possibly the best thing i've ever done in my life !
no shit !
sometimes we are a bit too shortsighted to see the impacts and benefits of things in its entirety.sometimes it takes a kick in the balls or kick in the behind for us to realize how short life really is !
I feel changed, i feel different, i feel happy and accomplished :)
i managed to overcome my own stereotypes and was able to make good of my mistake. I learned something ( many things actually)!

so my friends, you know who you are !
Thank You for all the experiences and guidance you have given to me
Thanks for the support and calls too !

and a big thanks to that someone who was so totally cool about the whole thing.

It feels like a movie, it was unexpected, surprising and unbeliveable.

My 2010 movie
a MAKNA volunteer
a PETROSAINS volunteer
KL Standard Chartered Marathon 10km finisher :)
TAYLORS COLLEGE, CPU
ZOO NEGARA Volunteer and Organizer :D
went to a lot of parties
met many amazing friends
became closer to friends and family
licensed to drive
CHELSEA winning the BPL !!!
the list goes on really


couldnt have written it any better i think :)

My final words are

A mistake may mean the end of something,but it may also mean the start of something better and new !
We just have to learn from them !