Literature with those "Aha !" moments intact

"Literature is Boring "

Everyone keeps saying that, and that's probably because;

People see literature normally as a tool to improve language.
"It increases your vocabulary "
What good would anyone in today's planet get by learning the word 'rood', 'hyperion curls' and 'argal' ?
Seriously, if i was born in Shakespeare's time, maybe i could use it to pick up girls but in today's world, the only thing anyone would 'pick up' while reading this is a Panadol and a glass of water because, Shakespeare literally will boggle your mind.

Even with that said, I believe Shakespeare's contribution in the work of English and theater are unparalleled. Who would have thought that the story of 2 'star-crossed lovers,destined to be together but due to 2 old guys who really hate losing, they are meant to be apart ' would make for good storytelling. I feel for the news we are forced to read everyday, its always either;
a)murder
b)conspiracy
c)sex
d) MURDER, SEX AND CONSPIRACY

Who comes up with these headlines ?
Its like these newspaper companies think were all a bunch of hedonists, smoking weed and banging cars and any other object in sight

Getting back to the topic of literature, I find it hard to understand why a book which opens with " I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I'm an unpleasant man. I think my liver is diseased " could even be remotely considered as something literary. This is something which you might find in a 15 year old goth chick or goth boy's blog, but honestly,
"I think my liver is diseased " ?
Sir, I believe your opening words can cure stupidity and at the same time cause mental retardation.

If your anything like me, stories are a nice place to get lost. I've been lost in a few exotic places, namely New York, Dublin, Alaska, a communist farmhouse, somewhere in the ocean, purgatory even. You meet so many people, I had a brief chit-chat about ducks with a New York Cab Driver (eventually he got tired and left me on the sidewalk, Jerk !) . Talked to a prostitute (and no, nothing happened !). Met a pimp with an inclination to grab you in the wrong places ( he had issues with me i guess, that's why he did that). Saw a party of pigs hanging out playing poker, eventually regressing into a fight of oinks and beer bottles. Talked to a lion which came from India who for some reason could speak really good French and likes a good Meerkat

So you see, Literature ain't boring. I mean it ain't as boring as, I don't know Quantum Mechanics XD

You just have to let your imagination run wild and perhaps wear protection if necessary :)